


Holding on to an Empty Victory

by whimsicalSwindler (Spammy_Wits)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Meteorstuck, Self-Indulgent, all the character mentioned get at least one POV, but Karkat features a lot because I want to fill in the blanks for why he's the most stable later on, in the official beyond canon content I mean, takes place in the credits between their arrival at Earth C and the time jump, who thought it was a good idea to leave a bunch of scarred kids in charge of a planet?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22403911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spammy_Wits/pseuds/whimsicalSwindler
Summary: The pile of awful that the universe in all its wisdom deemed necessary to throw at you includes: You getting all of your guardians killed; your whole planet destroyed; your team locked out of an entire universe; your friends murdered while you cowered before a clown and a wizard cosplayer; and a one-way sweep and a half trip through paradox's space dream fuck-up show that was supposed to just be the intermission before your inevitable demise in the hands of a demon, a tyrant or an overpowered barkbeast... And all you got for it was a lousy hogtied leprechaun...
Relationships: Dave Strider & Dirk Strider, Dave Strider & Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 24





	Holding on to an Empty Victory

#### > Dave: Wake up.

Your name is Dave Strider, you have spent the last three days unconscious with your best bro. Not in a, _‘Oh, shit. These two clowns couldn’t handle the heat and just collapsed like a couple of melodramatic old ladies in a soap opera’_ and more like a, ’ _I can’t believe we just survived that, how about we watch a movie and then sleep until next week or however long it takes for us to stink so bad we just can’t deal_ ’ kinda way. Fortunately, you have not been thrown into wakefulness by any sort of stench, even if shit’s starting to get icky already. No, what woke you up was the flashing light from your shades indicating that you have and still are being pestered by someone. Judging by how long it took you to realize what it was, this person must be really jonesin for your attention. 

You make a half-hearted attempt at disentangling from your comfortable position knowing that it will inevitably stir up the slumbering troll beside you, you hope he slept as much as you did, dude needs to make up for so much sleep that if sleep was currency his ass would be indebted into homelessness. 

You put on your shades and notice that whoever contacted you is still fucking writing. You’re surprised to see that it’s your teen bro and he just covered your screen with barely concealed insecurities surrounded by a ludicrous amount of tangents and jokes… Is this how it feels to be on the other end of your rambles? Nah.

#### > Be Past Karkat

You are now Karkat Vantas from two nights ago. You’ve been indulging in the company of a certain human best friend for Strider knows how many hours, even if both of you haven’t been functional enough to do anything more complicated than waking up for a snack and a trip to the load gaper every now and then and immediately going back to sleep.

The good news is that the horrorterrors are no longer haunting your species with dreams of blood and carnage; the bad news is that your thinkpan is too fucked up to grant you the sweet release of oblivion (or dreamless sleep, as you’ve been told by the aliens) and has been working overtime to fill you with daymares featuring all of your failures and all of the fucked up things you have ever experienced; the worse news is that you can no longer reach your friends in the dream bubbles, you failed in your attempt at sacrificing yourself for the greater good as penance for their demise and you don’t think you’ll come to terms with any of it any time soon.

The pile of awful that the universe in all its wisdom deemed necessary to throw at you includes: You getting all of your guardians killed; your whole planet destroyed; your team locked out of an entire universe; your friends murdered while you cowered before a clown and a wizard cosplayer; and a one-way sweep and a half trip through paradox's space dream fuck-up show that was supposed to just be the intermission before your inevitable demise in the hands of a demon, a tyrant or an overpowered barkbeast... And all you got for it was a lousy hogtied leprechaun...

Suffice to say, you are not too fucking thrilled with the idea of going back to sleep yet, which is why you decided to check if you have any messages.

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] ??? DAYS FROM NOW opened memo on board WE’RE FUCKING DOING THIS.

CURRENT carcinoGenestisist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo  
CCG: ARE WE SERIOUSLY DOING THIS AGAIN?  
FGC: READ THE NAME, FUCKFACE. YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANY AWARDS FOR YOUR OBSERVATION SKILLS TONIGHT.  
CCG: CAN’T WE JUST FUCKING GET ALONG FOR ONCE?  
CCG: FOR A MINUTE THERE I THOUGHT I HAD MATURED ENOUGH TO NOT DO THIS MASTURBATORY SELF OWNAGE EVER AGAIN, IT’S LIKE GOING BACK TO THAT DREADFUL FIRST HUMAN YEAR IN THE METEOR.  
CCG: I’M SO SICK OF WAGING WAR WITH MYSELF. EVEN MORE NOW THAT MY FURY HAS ABSOLUTELY NO GREATER PURPOSE AND WILL JUST IMPLODE IN ITS OWN MASS, BURNING TO A CRISP EVERY POOR HALF BAKED BULGEFONDLING MORON THAT THOUGHT IT TO BE A GOOD IDEA TO WANDER INTO THE BLAST RADIUS OF MY ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING EXCUSE FOR AN EGO.  
FCG: NO. WE’RE NOT DOING THAT PART IN PARTICULAR.  
FCG: THANKS FOR ASKING, THOUGH. I CAN SAY WITH COMPLETE CERTAINTY THAT WE CAN, INDEED, GET THE FUCK ALONG.  
FCG: THIS CONVERSATION, THAT I ALREADY HAD, IS AS GOOD AS ANYTHING TO PROVE IT. I’D FOLLOW WITH SOME VITRIOLIC JAB, BUT I HAVE THE MINIMAL AMOUNT OF COMMON SENSE REQUIRED TO REALIZE THAT YOU DON’T NEED ANY MORE OF THAT HOOFBEAST SHIT RIGHT NOW.  
FCG: DO YOU?  
CCG: …  
CCG: JUST SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU DECIDED TO BOTHER ME WITH ALREADY.  
FCG: FUCKING ALRIGHT.  
FCG: DON’T GET LOST IN YOUR THINKPAN, MAN, I KNOW THERE’S A LOT OF SHIT GOING ON BUT NONE OF IT IS UNDER YOUR CONTROL. WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT ANY OF THAT FESTERING PUDDLE OF BILE? LICK IT OFF THE GROUND?  
FCG: YOU’RE COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR DEPTH BUT I’M FEELING CHARITABLE ENOUGH THAT I’M SOLVING THIS MESS BEFORE YOU BLOW IT OUT OF PROPORTIONS LIKE USUAL.  
FCG: YOU COULD EASILY SPLIT ALL YOUR PROBLEMS INTO TWO CATEGORIES BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE ONLY CHOICES THE TYPE OF PROBLEMS YOU HAVE WOULD EVER ALLOW TO BE DEALT WITH: THE FIRST CATEGORY IS, “GET OVER IT, THAT SHIT’S IN THE PAST.”  
CCG: UGH  
FCG: THE SECOND CATEGORY IS APTLY NAMED, “LET THE ACTUALLY COMPETENT MEMBERS OF THIS NO LONGER LITTLE PARTY DEAL WITH IT AND TRY TO MAKE THEIR JOB EASIER.”  
FCG: THERE.  
FCG: ENJOY THE FREEDOM I’VE JUST DELIVERED UPON YOU IN THE FORM OF GODLY ENLIGHTENMENT. AT RISK OF SOUNDING REPETITIVE: STOP WALLOWING, IT’S GOING TO DO FUCK ALL FOR YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND IT’LL SOLVE NOTHING.  
CCG: WELL, FOR ONCE YOU SEEM TO HAVE GRASPED SOME SEMBLANCE OF INTELLIGENT THOUGHT.  
CCG: I’LL TRY TO REMEMBER THIS MILDLY IRRITATING CONVERSATION, BUT I MAKE NO PROMISES.  
CCG: I’M STILL NOT FOND OF YOU AND YOU STILL MANAGE TO BE THE MOST CONDESCENDING FUCK IN PARADOX SPACE EVEN WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO BE HELPFUL.  
FCG: FUCK YOU.  
CCG: NO. FUCK *YOU*!!!  
FCG banned himself from responding to memo.  
CCG banned himself from responding to memo.

  


Before sleep catches up to you once again, you brace yourself for whatever is coming. You can be abso-fucking-lutely sure that bad things await you when even your prick of a future self is acting nice towards you.

***

\-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  at 12:17 --

TT: Hey, Dave.  
TT: I was hanging out with the rest of the crew and I happened to notice that no one has seen you in a few days.  
TT: That's cool.  
TT: You want to lay low for a while, I get it.  
TT: What we did was pretty fucked up, uh?  
TT: I've been talking to Rose, mostly planning for our godly housework, and it seems like the popular consensus is that we're probably going to need your help sometime soon.  
TT: I'd rather let you have a well-deserved vacation but there are some things that can only be put in place by the firm hand of father time and you're pretty much his functional proxy.  
TT: Rose is calling for a meteor wide meeting which might turn out to be a mistake considering the state of almost everyone here but I'm not delusional enough to believe I know better than a fucking seer, so...  
TT: On another note.  
TT: Back when we finished the game I thought, and I'm sorry beforehand if it sounds conceited, that we would be doing some bro on bro time eventually. You know? But maybe I just read that wrong.  
TT: What do I know? Maybe you're just the kind of rad guy that has no issue disclosing personal trauma and just moves on to whatever his cool plans are, being on the top of the echeladder of well-adapted motherfuckers and shit.  
TT: So, to sum up this ludicrous monologue I'll regret writing soon enough: We are having a group meeting, probably today, and maybe we both can hang out sometime?  
TT: Of course we've got to schedule and allocate some broing time first, I'm a busy guy by which I mean I have fuck all to do and socializing with this amount of strangers is getting unironically awkward and exceedingly taxing so maybe I'll drop my plans altogether if you're free.  
TT: I have a few centuries worth of modern music at my disposal that I'm fairly sure you've never heard so we could make an evening out of that, or we can do whatever you want if you even want to do anything at all.  
TT: If you don't that's alright, but I'd appreciate being told off before I keep making an ass of myself.  
TT: No hard feelings.  
TG: yo

#### > Go back to being the cool kid

That's all you manage to write before you notice that your companion is trembling so much he's making the couch shake as bad as a Texan ice fishing during the worst part of the Canadian winter. You grab his husktop and poke him with it in an attempt to wake him up without risking injury from freakish Troll instincts, it doesn't take long for him to jump out of bed with a scream of 'GAMZEE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!' He looks confused for a second and takes another moment to recognize where he is.

"Dude, nightmares? Seriously? We finally get to sleep without being fake awake in the dream bubbles and you can't get some acceptable sleep even with the whole premium snoozing occasion?" Karkat's face crunches up and you are not sure that what you see at the corner of his eyes are not tears waiting to be spilled. You send a quick message to your bro.

TG: hold on  
TG: some shit came up

You find it weird that he stopped messaging you since your vague acknowledgment. You don't want to risk thinking that he might have been waiting at the edge of his seat for your answer with the thirst of a junkie with a hangover, you wouldn't know how to feel about that idea so you shrug it off promptly. Instead, you focus on Karkat, who has contorted himself into a loaf under the covers. He's not looking too good.

"Yeah, the universe has once again decided to take a big steaming dump on my already overloaded psyche."

"Karkat, are you... alright?"

"I'll be fine..." He doesn't sound like he believes that. "The content is new, but my whole species has been dealing with daymares for the span of our recorded history." He rubs at his eyes and you don't know how to react as you see his fingers glistening wetly. "I just need to get used to it again. It's been a while..." He gives you that particular look he gets when he is about to change the topic so you resign yourself to failing to comfort someone once again, you figure you need a bit more practice in the fine art of emotional openness before you unlock that particular ability. It stings a little, though.

"Right... I was thinking about heading out, a shower sounds like the perfect remedy to the stank that's sticking to my sweet bod. Old man Asclepius himself has nothing on that shower, dude would take a look at it and go 'you know what, I've been bested fair and square' or however you say that in ancient greek and then abscond with his stupid stick like a little bitch."

"Okay." Shit, you were hoping for him to get mad or at least ask you to stay...

"I might go for some actual food, too. We've been kinda surviving out of the junk we had at hand and you can only eat stale nachos for so long before the cravings get real. You want anything?"

"No."

"You sure? I'm willing to offer anything between a coffee and a sponge bath including the coffee and excluding the bath because that'd get weird pretty fast."

"Dave, if you're going to go just fucking go already." He's not looking at you, he's not even yelling. You're frozen where you stand by this unexpected turn of events. "Are you waiting for an invitation? Fine then, you're cordially invited to fucking off. There, get on with it."

Welp, it seems like you've been banished from Karkat's presence for the time being. As you head towards the showers you remember that you had left Dirk waiting for a follow-up.

TG: ill be in the meal block in 30  
TG: maybe we can catch up then

You don't bother waiting for an answer. Instead, you try to recall your conversation for any hint of what your best friend might need from you. You're starting to worry about Karkat.

#### > Kanaya: Be insightful.

You are now Kanaya Maryam and after an unexpected conversation with a not too bothersome and maybe even pleasant interloper you have the subtle impression that the Jane human might not be entirely sincere with her praises and good wishes, furthermore, you feel like she might even have a smidge of distaste towards your species' particular method of propagation.

You don't have time to contemplate such thoughts more intensely, though, and the Jane human has taken way too much of it already. You have a mother grub to prepare for and a matesprit to support.

**Author's Note:**

> Next Chapter will be featuring Jane and Jade.
> 
> Sorry for the shit ton of edits, I was trying to figure out the format I'm gonna use but I think I'm done now


End file.
